15 MONTHS OUT - Honeymoon period still going?

WOW 1 month ago I posted and I had actually gained 3 lbs and didn't know how that happened, well it's been going down hill from there. I somehow managed to drop 9 lbs. from that point, 5 lbs in last week. that hasn't happened since surgery! I am now 151 lbs and 6 lbs away from my goal. I am in a perfect size 8 jeans (finally got some new ones) and except for this cold, sinus, neck arthritis I feel pretty good. My back has calmed down tremendously since I got the cortisone/steroid injection, the procedure wasn't nice, painful and stressful but wow it worked. I feel so so much better. I was in debilitating agony with back/hip/groin pain, now it only hurts if I overdo it and it only hurts not agony, so I'm thankful for that. I've had a stupid cold for 3 weeks and just when I think it's almost gone, now I have a sore throat and having issues swallowing, for heavens sake that annoys me. whenever I get a cold I feel like a child, like why do adults get dumb colds. I have sinus/allergy issues so usually I do have a runny nose and sinus headache but this is just dumb, blowing my nose, runny nose, earache, now sore throat, it's useless. My 2 grandbabies are sick AGAIN, and my daughter, we keep passing it around the house.Well work is good, I love my job, I am blessed with a great work environment, awesome boss and a pretty good staff. of course the governor cutting our salary by 15% is a downer but we try to encourage each other. we remodeled the office during the past 3 months so we have new paint on walls and new carpeting, looks awesome and a new phone system is getting installed this week. Makes you wonder where is the "budget crisis" if we are getting all this nice fancy new stuff. what we spent on this stuff could cover my 15% paycut for 2009. it is unbelievable the amount we pay for rent too, we are in a private building not a State building so we pay a pretty penny but we love the building it's nice, safe, clean and in a great location in San Francisco's financial district, can't beat it. we have it all right outside our door so it's a nice area to work in and at least we have that. we are all praying that our furlough/pay cut is eliminated in June 2010 as promised, if not sooner. The stress I am having because of the pay cut is driving me insane. Oh my labs are sad again, waiting on my surgeon to get back to me about what we are going to do, some labs went up but still some low, my ferritin is horrible! my Vitamin D finally went up not alot but I think alot better. As my weight keeps dropping it may all get worse but I hope not. I am in SHOCK that I am dropping so much weight at this point but I am thrilled to death that I am so close to goal. I got on scale couldn't believe it and jumped back on to make sure. i am still in shock that i dropped 5 lbs in a week. hopefully the momentum will continue so I can lose the 6 lbs get to goal and then work on maintenance although to get to "the" goal I should be for my height I have to drop some more but when I make it to 145 I will be grateful and satisfied that I worked for a goal and succeeded. so that's all for now. take care and God bless each and everyone of you trying to get to your goals! That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

14 Months Out - things not going so good

someone in my online support group asked me today if I regret having this surgery, here's my response. I do not regret the surgery, I've lost weight so far 105 lbs. from before and after surgery. still need to lose more but it's good. I say I don't regret it but I honestly feel that I don't know what I've done to myself by doing this. you caught me at a time where I am just not happy. it's been a few months and it's probably got alot to do with the hormones but sometimes i am sad that I had the surgery because my life has changed so much as far as eating. it's been 14 months and I still obssess about food, all day it's a struggle with what i'm eating, how much and that i ate the wrong thing. in the past 2 weeks i gained 3 lbs and i don't know how and that has just added to my depression. the loose skin issue has also got me depressed and when i see that yes i regret the surgery. i think it has alot to do also with me not having a social life, i have no friends, i only go to work and home. so it allows for alot of sitting and thinking time, and of course thinking about food and grazing out of boredom. definitely the health issues I had are gone now, but due to the arthritis and now a joint issue in my back i'll never be pain free and that still holds me back which upsets me because i didn't go through this surgery to still be sitting down instead of running around. it's great that my clothes size is down that I share clothes with my daughter, but right now during the past few weeks I feel so fat and so low and just don't have any desire to deal with this eating issue. today i had a cookie and it was not a little cookie it was big and i took the chance and ate it, i didn't dump but i felt woozy and just weak and it's been 4 hours and i still feel out of sorts. of course can't do that all the time so I have to watch it. I think some of us get this surgery and think that their life will change in a different way and it doesn't. my life is the same except for the fact that I can't enjoy a meal, can't go to a restaurant and order something and actually enjoy it. sometimes i cook because i'm craving something so much and then i cook it, have a few bites and i'm disgusted with it, i hate that. I will say that if anyone, including you, asks me if I would recommend the surgery I say yes, go for it. don't let anything or anyone keep you from the surgery that will probably save your life. my experiences are mine, everyone is different and I think for the most part most people don't go through this down period I am feeling. but then again I do feel that most people do have the periods of "what did I do?" and probably don't admit it because then they may have someone say "I told you so" or "deal with it you wanted surgery there you go" but me, I won't lie to anyone that asks me about the life after surgery, it's not easy, it's hard, it takes alot of willpower and committment, but yes I would do it again. SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG BUT I GUESS I HAD TO LET IT OUT. That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

Women of Faith Conference, Sacramento, CA

That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

13 MOS post op -105 lbs.

So on Sunday the 23rd it will be my 13th month out. Today was my weekly weigh in and I'm down to 157, wearing 8's and sometimes 10's depends on style (of course) I'm still losing, Thank God. Got this thing moving! going slow but at least it's going. When I had my gallbladder surgery on 5/20/09 I was 168 (can't forget they kept asking my weight in pre-op) so in 3 months have lost 11 lbs. not great, but pretty good considering honeymoon period almost over and the stress of not losing anymore and possible regain is looming over me. I'll take each ounce happily at this point whatever I lose is a gift. lots of frustration and do overs (had bad yesterday paid for it) but so far keep on truckin' - need 12 more pounds to get to my goal. I will get there, one way or another!!! although if I had ps on this tummy and boobs that would probably cover those 12 lbs LOL! but that's not gonna happen so I have to do it with working at it, being a better patient, doing what I'm supposed to do, eating better than I do. don't eat right or when I'm supposed to it's such a chore! oh well, another day another lesson learned. we shall persevere!!! That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

1 YR Post Op Surgiversary Today -101 lbs.

1 yr ago today I went into surgery thinking this is it, big drastic step. Hours later when I threw up blood (did it several times) I thought oh what have I done to myself? Between those episodes and the pain and the terror that something had gone wrong and I had to go back to surgery I regretted having surgery for that moment. By the time I got home, safe and sound I felt better about my decision. It's been a hard year, ups and downs, last 5 months have been hard because I've been sick for most of this time but now that gb is out, and my pain has calmed down I feel better. I'm still having pain issues but I am now under the care of a spine specialist to see if he can find out whats up. It's been a year of learning new things, making new friends, and every day is a new day a new battle. this is not easy, I didn't think it would be but it is harder than I expected. Although we do this to not ever diet again, we basically are on a permanent "diet". we still have to watch what we eat, when we eat, how we eat and why we eat! But I must say I can eat most things, except alot of sweets. I can however, have a little bit of sweetness like a mini bite of candy, a piece of cake w/lil frosting, just basically a bite but it's enough so I don't feel deprived and it doesn't hurt my "diet" Carbs are still a problem, I have to watch them carefully or my sugar shoots up and drops and I get the shakes and feel crappy. Sometimes it's pretty much a hit and miss situation. Some things make no sense, like how come I can eat eggs but in some forms it can make me feel crappy and down right disgusted. Some foods I eat 2 bites and I feel like I'm going to explode, other foods I can eat quite a big amount. Like I said a learning curve each time. This week someone told me I was so skinny I was going to disappear NOT! I am far from skinny, I am however skinnier than I was. Someone else asked me if I was mentally through the hurdle, I told her no. some days I see myself the same, fat, others I look and say wow I look thin. on the bad days I swear I can see an extra pound on me and I feel heavy like I gained 20 lbs. other days I feel small and feel proud. Don't get me wrong I was given a blessing, I was referred, approved and had surgery all within 9 months, it was pretty easy for me to get to surgery day and for that I am truly thankful. I am thankful every day that I got this surgery, but somedays it's so hard I don't know if I can make it. I am terrified of gaining weight again, but yet when I want that piece of candy I just want it, weight be damned. Do I eat a whole candy bar nope, can't wouldn't won't but do I want it, yes of course. I eat 1 slice of pizza, but I want 3 more, I can't so obviously I don't but my mind is stuck there and I swear I think about it for the rest of the day until someone else eats it and it's gone out of my sight. Like they say the surgery was on my tummy not my brain. I have my before/after pic here at work on my wall so that I can remember and make better choices. It's hard, it's sad sometimes, it's painful sometimes but getting past each hurdle is so worth it. I still have 16 lbs to "my" goal weight, but at 161 my surgeon considers me a success. I am down 101 lbs since I began the program, I've gone from a size 24 to wearing a size 8 jean (my daughters) my 2 girlfriends at work say I am gonna get thinner than they are and want to kill me (with love). so it's all good, the good and the bad days, the ups and downs. it's all a blessing to be thankful for, even when I feel like a failure (and yes I still have those days too). I am proud that I am here that I've come this far, that this year has taught me alot, has given me a new goal, given me new friends and the chance for a new life. I guess now that I made my year, I'm almost at goal, my new life begins in earnest. still looking towards what is to become and what I am going to do with this tool. THANK YOU to my wls family, my sisters and brothers in this fight we share in common. Without all of you I could not have made it through this journey. Extra thank you to Debby, my angel, I appreciate your friendship. Take care :) That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

July 5th -101 lbs. Finally!

Finally, -100 has been keeping away from me for weeks. been stuck at -99. twice this week i got on scale and it said 162, and I thought finally. ran got camera and then it was back to 163, deceived me. but today after verifying 3 times it said minus 101!!! yes 161 and a size 8! I am so excited finally this is a huge milestone. whats odd is that i thought for sure i had gained cause I know I ate well yesterday, but it was pretty much all meat :) lots of protein yesterday :) AND IT WILL BE MY 1 YR POST OP ON THE 23RD, I didn't make goal but I hit one big milestone and I am so grateful. That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

JUNE 23 11 mos. Post Op -98 lbs.

so today I am 11 post op and down 98 lbs in total (pre/post). it sure is slow going but I lost 4 lbs in the last month, probably due to my gb surgery. I think it jolted my system and thats why I dropped the pounds. BUT for the past 3 Wednesday weigh ins my weight is stuck again! UGH I need 2 measly lbs. to get to -100 and it's taking forever, and only 19 lbs to goal. boy this is just annoying. I am able to get into my daughter's size 8 jeans, yippee, but I am wearing 10's cause I don't have funds to go out and buy clothes that fit. so I am wearing baggy jeans and trying to hold them up with a belt LOL. here are my progress pics for 11 mos post op. I shall post again asap. That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

JUNE 3 - Weigh Day -97 WOOHOO

So today is weigh day and I'm down 97 lbs. I've actually lost 3 lbs. in 2 weeks since I had my gallbladder out, very odd. I am sick sick sick, can't get rid of this pain, gb is out, now what is going on. still haven't gone back to work. tomorrow is my post op we shall see what happens. I just got back from church, today i became a member of Shiloh Christian Church in Oakland, California, very sweet feeling to belong :) going to bed soon, hopefully I can feel better and get to work tomorrow. That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

JUNE 1 - Wedding is over!

so the wedding has come and gone, pretty quick. I managed to fit into the dress thank God for losing 10 lbs since I ordered the dress, cause the swelling would have done me in. but I got a bra bustier and a panty girdle thingy and I was totally uncomfortable but I dealt with it :) enjoyed myself and was so grateful I looked decent in the pictures. here is one, i will post the rest to my albums. today i was supposed to go back to work but I didn't have the energy to do it, i had to go to dr. to get a cortisone shot for my hip pain, then they decided to give me a tetanus shot, so now my right hip and my left arm are hurting UGH! and i'm also still having surgery pain, I know it takes time but since I have to go back to work I need this ache to be gone. I had to squeeze into my jeans today and it was so uncomfortable. i guess i will need to deal with it while I commute to work and then pop the jeans open while I'm sitting at desk. so now that is hurting me more cause I was squished :)~ == watching tv now just trying to relax and get it together, try to feel better. I didn't eat today until til almost 1:00 pm I think that didn't help my feeling yucky. got to take better care of myself, my blood work came back bad still and not eating properly isn't going to help that. anyway home stresses are not helping either. there's just alot of snowballing going on and it's taking me with it. ugh! too much stress isn't good for recovery, praying for some relief very soon. :) That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

MAY POSTS

MAY 23 - 10 MOS POST OP - 94 lbs.

So yesterday was my 10 mos. surgiversary.NO PIC this month, swollen from gb surgery. total for pre and post op is -94 lbs. post op is 60 lbs. still going slow but this last month I lost 5 lbs. but it took 3 months to lose 10 lbs. boy that just is going so slow. So I had my gallbladder yanked out on Wednesday 5/20. that morning I weighed myself and I was 168 WOOHOO, I weighed again the next day, day after surgery and of course I was up to 171 +3 lbs. but I knew that could happen because of the iv fluids. so I wasn't concerned. Yesterday I weighed again and it was gone, I was back to 168 I am so happy that is the firm number for now. That's what I'm keeping! so my pain level is way better together, actually got to cough today! if you've ever had abdominal surgery you know exactly what I mean, you don't cough for days LOL you just kind of sorta try to but can't so you choke LOL but today pain practically gone so I was able to cough for real aahh relief. so I got 4 new holes around where the wls scars are, so now 10 scars, man! they are from middle of belly running to right side. one big one right in the middle in the top which is bruised pretty ugly and painful but way better today on day 4 post op. so gloomy weather Sunday, quiet house. ttyl

MAY 20 Surgery Day- UGH!

so it's a good day, bad day. I am finally going to get rid of this pain , albeit will have another pain for a few days , today I am having my gallbladder removed, I am feeling scared and nervous . I realized last night this was the first time I was having non-elective surgery since I was 15 years old when I had my tonsils removed first time I have a surgery cause something is wrong so it's a little nerve wracking. I had to get up before 5:00 am to eat something, since my surgery is at 1:45pm I was allowed to eat this a.m. because it still gives me 9 hrs before surgery for anesthesia purposes. But since I digest so quickly and don't eat a whole lot anyway it will be way gone before I hit the hospital :) so this is my last post for probably a couple of days depending on how I feel. I will be home tonight. yep in and out, it's like drive through surgery. doesn't seem safe at all but hospitals don't want the cost of overnight stays.

MAY 17 - 3 days til it's out!

So I had my pre-op on Friday, dr. talked to me, explained what was happening with my gallbladder. no explanation as to why my gallbladder went downhill so quickly. 1 year ago my gb was ejecting bile at 65% which is normal, now it's ejecting at %14. not good. pretty much not doing anything but swelling and causing me pain. so out it comes. surgery is Wednesday at 2:00 pm. I have to check in at noon and if all goes well I should be home around 7pm or so. she's gonna do some other type of test while she's in there, she's gonna check the ducts that will remain after she removes my gb to make sure there are no grains hiding in the ducts that could continue to cause me pain even after the gb is out. I will be off work until June 1, so I'll only miss 7 days work since the 25th is a holiday. i was going to take the 29th off anyway cause it's the day before the wedding and I need to go take care of my beautification or at least try. i still need that strapless bra and I'm stressing about it. the kids are oblivious about the surgery, I guess when you don't spend the night it doesn't seem major. melina wanted to take me at 6 (when we thought surgery was early) and leave me there and go to dentist and run errands. that really hurt my feelings cause I don't want to be in surgery and not have someone there, especially when I wake up. now I have to be there at 12, so no clue if anyone has time to take me. and pick me up. joel asked me if I wanted him here for surgery but I told him no cause he needs to get himself together over there. melina has been in her own world with her friends and now new bf and is never home. so josh is pretty much alone here now and he's bored and lonely I hope it doesn't lead to him having problems again. anyway i'll be home for a few days after the surgery. so i'll check in probably thursday, the day after surgery! see ya!

ANOTHER SURGERY

So the gallbladder has got to go. Finally answers to my pain, I just say get it out. sucks that another surgery within 10 mos. but I can't stay like this. Dr. emailed me today and told me normal gb function is 35-75%, mine is at 14%. last year when I had the HIDA Scan done it was at 65% which was normal. so dropped down pretty quick. so preop tomorrow and surgery is on Wednesday 5/20, NEXT WEEK! lord that's quick. but I'm gonna do it cause who knows when next date is available. I don't want to be in pain all the time. I have to be in a wedding on the 30th but I expect I should be able to move around by then. I pretty much was mobile 10 days after gastric bypass, so I should be okay. so here we go back to the OR!

I'm OVERWEIGHT!

and that's just fine yep finally got down to overweight status. hit 169 this a.m. and that makes my bmi 29.9 down from 46.4 (extremely obese). it also means the scale has decided to move out of the 170's. i have been stuck at 171-173 since March 18, very frustrating up down up down. I'm hoping when the gb issue gets fixed I can eat better and my weight will start going down. so my pain saga continues, the latest update is I went on Monday for a Hida Scan of my liver/gallbladder to see if they are functioning whacky and that is what is causing my continuing pain. so Dr. O'B emailed me yesterday and said there does seem to be a problem with my gb. she's referring it back to my original surgeon Dr. Chu. I just emailed her to light a fire under her to see what is the problem and what can we do to fix it cause I now feel more uncomfortable cause I think the chemicals that contracted my gb made it worse! my back hurts big time now. anyway, now it's a hurry up and wait. knowing the Kaiser system I will probably be in pain for a couple of more months until they schedule me for surgery, if that is what they decide to do. we shall see!

MAY 2, 2009 Meet & Greet

so on Saturday 05/02/09 I had the pleasure of going to lunch at Chevy's in Pleasant Hill, I got to meet some great folks from the California message board. I enjoyed the lunch, meeting the fellow surgery soulmates and we exchanged clothes, that was . 2 people stood out to me cause of their bubbly personality, Jenn, who is navy mom of 5, I loved her outgoing spirit and Rachel, she was just so sweet, she's preop and I hopefully can help her on her journey. Barb was awesome too and Leslie who sat next to me but was playing mommy to Jenn's angels. she took her 5 kids and OMG they behaved so well. when I heard she was bringing them I thought Oh Lord, please I want a peaceful lunch but nope they were very good. sweet, really nice kids. so that was good and the next 1 is set for June 27th and I kept thinking that date sounds familiar whats on my calendar, well i got home and noted that our family Discovery Kingdom day is on that day darn it! have to figure it out. I want to do both but can't. I wanted to do DK on 27th cause thats when the union has their family picnic day and we can get tickets to the park and a meal for a cheap price. but we may have to go another day. we shall say. on my weight loss journey, I joined gym last week. Planet Fitness. went 2x last week and I'm planning on going tonight. I don't think I'll go every day cause then I'll get bored but I will see. the wedding is coming close and I need to fit better in my bridesmaid dress. it fits but its snug and I think I need to breathe so time goes on my weight dropped a little but still pretty much stalled. i know I need to eat better it's just so difficult for me to eat right, I am also going through depression now. I just feel so down and out about everything and I don't see too much yippee in hurray. I don't have a life and I need to find one. anyway back to work now it's almost time to go.

That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

APRIL 29 9 mos. post op - 92 lbs.

So I should have posted last week when I made my 9 months post op but been a little flaky in the brain and didn't do it. So today was my weekly weigh in and I'm down to 170, which is -92 lbs. since the beginning of my journey, 8 more lbs and I've lost a total of 100. I need 25 lbs to get to my goal of 145. it's going slow and hard. so on top of that, I had a small bowel follow through test yesterday, the barium made me ill couldn't come to work. i hope they can figure out this pain soon, i'm so tired of it. turns out that i have reactive hypoglycemia, my sugar drop throughout the day when i eat carbs or go for awhile without eating. while i realized something was happening to me, that wasn't "normal" i didn't realize how dangerous it can be if I don't control it. some people pass out in the street, you can get very bad, it's like having a diabetic attack. this sucks! anyway today I go pick up my glucometer to keep track of my sugar and then i also have to write down everything I eat and the times and especially when I have attack. next week I go back to dr. to see what we can do about this problem. so right now I am facing 2 issues, the pain in my stomach or wherever it is and the sugar problem. Lord here my cry! I am tired just tired. I don't want to be sick and I surely don't want to be poking my finger every day and taking meds. I wanted this surgery to get me healthy not sicker. and to top it off my weight is stalled, now of course it could be because of this sugar issue so we shall see. anyway that's it for now. i'm tired. That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

APRIL 15, 2009

I look at the heading up above that says "How I'm doing" and I just think "how am I doing?" sucky that's how. today is weigh day as it always is on Wednesdays, although I must confess I weigh everyday just so I can see if the dang thing has moved but I "record" Wednesdays weight only. so once again I went up 1 lb. this is the 2nd time since surgery this has happened and talk about a downer to the day. it just blows my mind that I am 8 mos. out and the damn scale is always stuck. right now I'm battling with 172-173 up and down and I'm telling you it's hitting me hard. I am in a funk about it and I am just "done" like why did I have this surgery to do be miserable and not get where I want to be. in 3 mos I'll be 1 year out and at this rate I won't make my goal of 145. I can't even get to -100 lbs. and i'm 10 lbs from there, doesn't sound like much but right now since i'm stuck 10 lbs is a long way away. I'm tired of it all, of constantly worrying about what I put in my mouth, of trying to figure out what I'm gonna put in my mouth of thinking I should be exercising but with all my aches and pains I can't even think of that. the most I can do is walk and if I do that too much my body is hurting for days. Now to top it off I got some inflammation in my rt thumb and I'm wearing a splint cause it was so bad I couldn't move my hand, had to go to urgent care, got a cortisone shot and then got a splint. dr says it has to rest or won't get better. so like it or not I have to wear the splint to let it rest. I got my bridesmaid dress on Saturday, it zipped up but it's a little snug at belly, another reason I need to be rid of 10 lbs. I think that's depressing me too, going to be a bridesmaid for the first time in my life and have to worry about what to wear, how i'm gonna look, getting my hair, nails and toes done, buying a bra/girdle, getting my tan straps to even out cause we ended up with spaghetti strap dress UGH! my entire life revolves around my body, my weight, my hanging skin, my lack of wardrobe. I truly need to get a life, to get some friends, some activities, something other than coming to work, sitting at home with kids and grandbabies. I need something to do with myself that involves me for me. well i'm gonna go now, get back to work. That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

March 30 - 5 Day Pouch Test

MY NEW BUDDY, TEDDY P So I need my weight to move.. just move. I finally saw it go down to 171, and then swing back up to 173, sometimes 172. It's so annoying. Anyway a few girls on the group decided to do the 5dpt and I figured what the heck let me try and get ahead of the carb monster and maybe boost my weight. So yesterday was day 1, and it was hard not to be able to eat solid food. I messed up by having some pizza crust but other than that all i did was water, protein shake, soup, juice, yogurt, pudding, jello and coffee and that was it. obviously I was very hungry all day, having not eaten solids since Saturday night. It is now Monday afternoon and so far i've had 2 cups of coffee, a soup at hand, water, sf pudding no protein so far today. later this afternoon I will have some avocado and 1 string cheese and that's it. then some more soup for dinner. luckily tomorrow I get to add foods (tuna, eggs, salmon, and tilapia) all things I like and can survive on and I am allowed to eat it all I want, well as long as 1 cup or 4-6 ozs and I have to eat it in 15 mins. tops. I usually eat pretty quick but with "real" food I sometimes have to eat slow cause I get full quick, which is the entire point of doing this 5dpt to get your pouch to remember that full tight feeling from the first time after surgery. believe me I do still have that tight feeling, a few days ago I ate a piece of pizza too fast and I was in agony, it was really bad, I felt like the pizza was in a whole piece and it was tearing my pouch. whew, had to lay down and massage my pouch to try and get some relief, I couldn't even throw up. won't do that anymore. so I am off today cause since tomorrow is holiday I decided to make it a 4 day weekend. I'm sitting here browsing the before/after pics and reading stories, it gives me inspiration and ideas too. my little doggie is sitting with me, boy can he sleep. anyay soon I'll have a snack of liquid heaven and then take a nap. then later on I'll take Teddy for a walk. TTFN That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

MARCH 23 -91 lbs. 8 mos post op

So I should have blogged yesterday but was busy and I forgot it was my 8 mos po and I didn't weigh in the a.m., so I weighed in today and was down to 171!! YAY - 91 and a whole heck of alot to go. 2 more lbs and I'll be overweight! YEAH can't wait for that BMI calculator to be nice to me. So I'm down just 3 lbs. since my 7 mos po man that sucks! I have to move my butt alot more. I just got a lil dog so maybe I can drag him outside to walk with me and get this weight moving. I'm still in pain, have to talk to gastro dr next week for endoscopy. constantly hurting, nausea, pain, now heartburn is back. not a happy camper. somebody has to fix this! okay back to work. That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

March 18 -89 lbs. slow progress

So I am now almost 8 months post op and the scale is still moving but so slowly, in 6 weeks I've lost 6 lbs. even though I must say it seems like it's never moving but it is just slow. I was stuck for the past 3-4 weeks and even went up 1 lb. for the first time since surgery, but lost 2 lbs this past week so now I got to kick it up and keep it going down. I'm gonna be a bridemaid in May and I just fit in the size 12 dress I have to wear but I need to lost 5-10 lbs. to be a bit more comfortable in it. (see pic)

So I went to Florida the first week of March, my sis invited me on her vacation, I got 3 days notice! but I had a great time, got a tan, had my hair done (colored, highlighted and cut) and just got a break. sat on beach for a few days, some days were too cold to go on beach but I had fun. i'll post pics.

I am still having stomach pains, gallbladder ultrasound was normal so I don't know. going back to surgeon tomorrow. i really dont' feel well and I hope they fix it cause I don't want anything going wrong now after being okay for 8 months. anyway drama at home, my son and his gf broke up, so gf and my grandson moved out and I just miss my lil boy so much, I think that's wearing on me too. making me sad. i saw him yesterday but he was distant and only wanted his daddy. he's walking now and is so cute I sure am upset that I'll be missing his daily life after being with him for 11 months of his life. now him and my granddaughter are dividing their time between parents, it truly truly sucks!anyway, next week is my 8 months post op, I'll post again.

That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

FEBRUARY 23 -88 lbs. 7 mos. post op

So today I am 7 months out. As of weigh in this a.m. I am down 88 lbs. 34 pre and 54 post. That's 4 lbs. less than 1 month ago. it's gone slow that's for sure. I try not to think of it too much or I get very let down about it. I am still having pain, couldn't sleep last night because I was uncomfortable. I emailed Kaiser yesterday but nothing yet. Had lunch, overate so was uncomfortable and got some pain but nothing major, I don't think it's gallbladder because it doesn't go nuts after I eat. the Pain is more all the time kind of pain, my chest wall seems to hurt too. the pain can get very intense and bad but if I move, massage and try to move the pain away it gets better, so who knows. Up until this odd pain started I have felt pretty good. It's hard to stay on track but have to do it. I had a piece of brownie yesterday, didn't hurt me or make me dump, of course if I had dared to eat more I would have been sorry but I don't do that. If I have a little piece of something sweet that's it cause otherwise I will get sick and why should I do that when I know darn well that my new system doesn't like sugar. anyway here is a new pic of me, taken today and a before/after pic.

That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

February 18 -87 LBS. Weigh Day

2-15-09 well down to 175 lbs. today. I've been struggling with the same couple of pounds for a couple of weeks. very frustrating, as many of you know very well, but it moves eventually. of course it would move way more if I actually moved my butt more, I've actually been home since last Monday after work. tuesday and wednesday my neck arthritis was aggravated and I had been suffering with that pain in my neck and the headache is causes for a few days and then it finally got too much and i stayed home from work on tuesday and wednesday. Thursday was a holiday, friday I had vacation day and then it's a long weekend. this tuesday coming up brittany is having her 4 wisdom teeth yanked so I'm staying home to watch Bella. so i won't be back to work until wednesday. so i've been sitting at home since tuesday, haven't gone out, been eating okay. the food supply is kind of low so I've been eating what I can. yesterday I had some white rice with 1 egg and suddenly was in pain and had to make a few runs to the b/r. then later on in the night i had like this heat rush and heart palpitations and just felt shakey don't know why. i've been having some weird pains in my stomach, and right area so i'm not sure what's happening but i'm just keeping an eye on it for now before i call the doc. a few minutes ago I was cleaning the floor, bending down wiping the tile and when I got up my chest is in agony, I guess I pulled something inside but now i'm sitting here in pain. the pain is behind my chest wall must be a muscle gone wrong so we shall see. the weather is so crappy, it's been raining all week and will continue to rain for the following week. it's rain season so no big surprise. i think that is what is aggravating my neck arthritis which of course inflames my neck and causes the headaches. so I've been pretty miserable for the past week. apparently the news is reporting that the stupid governor has come to some sort of agreement with the union about cutting the furlough days down to 1 instead of 2, and we lose 2 holidays but get 2 floating holidays. very odd negotations but oh well. this may mean that instead of an almost 10% pay cut we will get an almost 5% paycut which is course is much easier to handle but still stressing me out. i think the stress is causing me the added stomach pains and added neck pains. and my not eating properly, all of it sucks right now. i reupped my eharmony script to see if anything happens in that area of my life so at least I have someone to hang out with sometimes instead of always being home stressing with all these kids here all the time I get pretty tired of not having a life of my own but that comes with the territory I love my kids and I now have 2 grandbabies to love and they all need help so for now I deal with it. still would be nice to have a "buddy" to hang out with and chill. on a nice front mariaelena called today and we have an appt. set up to pick out our bridesmaids dresses, so so odd to be a bridesmaid at my age but okay, exciting. soooo glad i'm somewhat slimmer, i'm hoping I can lose another 20 lbs by wedding day which is May 30th that gives me 3 months to drop some more weight. we are wearing teal and I hope silver sandals. melina said she'd help me pay for my outfit cause obviously I can't afford it. anyway that's the update for now :) Be blessed in all you do. Update 2-18-09 so it's weigh day today, i "officially" weigh in on Wednesdays, so lost 3 lbs. this week. pretty good so far have lost 4 lbs in february. March 7 I have to go pick out my bridesmaid dress and i'm hoping to be down another 6-10 lbs. and hopefully by the time the wedding comes around on May 30th I'll be down 20 lbs from what I am now, that would be real close to my goal of 145 which is the high weight for my height but last time I got as low as 146 i looked really thin and was wearing 8's and big 6's so i think that's good enough. of course my body may decide i need to be healthier and allow my body to keep dropping weight so we shall see. i've been eating crackers this week so that isn't too cool but not too bad. have to cut it back down cause my body does better without the carbs. i think it's the lack of food at home that has me eating whatever I can and crackers are inexpensive and something I can get in a bigger size for the entire family. we ran out of rice so that won't be an issue :) also no more potatos so can't make those. and we've been out of bread for awhile so haven't had that. should be doing mainly proteins anyway. my neck/headache felt quite a bit better today, have a little headache now but it's this darn cold weather. my chest hurt a little this a.m. but it's not so bad as it was doing. it's really a struggle to deal with this weight issue and still have so many aches and pains that keep me from doing more things. i do feel better don't get me wrong but sometimes i feel frustrated cause i don't feel 100% - been taking my vitamins and the extra d prescription dr. gave me still have a few weeks to take that pill and i hope it helps. in May I have to redo my labs to see if the extra vitamins helped up my deficiencies. we shall see. i do look thinner and folks make comments but I am so flabby, lord without jeans things are flying all over. not a pretty site. okay well that's all for now. "I strive for progress, not perfection" (Carnie Wilson) That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

JANUARY 23 -83 LBS - WOOHOO 6 month SURGIVERSARY

Friday will mark my 6 month surgiversary. sooo, I hit 179 this morning! woohoo. lost 4 lbs this past week (wednesday is weigh day). looks like upping my walking, and dropping the carbs helped. I was just looking through my weight loss log and I have to kick myself because I never feel like I'm losing weight but looking back at my log, I notice that since 12/31 I've lost 8 lbs. (3 weeks) my goodness it is moving. I guess we still never give ourselves any credit for anything. have to change that attitude. good day, as I sit here in the size 14 Old Navy jeans my daughter bought me :) which are a little baggy already and I just got them :)~ funny thing is I see people at work looking but it seems they just don't know what to say :) I can tell by that look on their face. LOL I feel good too, the 3.4 miles I walked on Monday didn't cause me any pain, and that my friends is the biggest biggest miracle I can hope for right now. less pain! Judy - Thinking Positive Works Better! HW 262 <<<< >>> CW 179 My Journey: http://judywlsjourney.blogspot.com/

JANUARY 8 - FRIENDS THE GREATEST PART OF THIS JOURNEY

MAKING NEW FRIENDS IS THE MOST SPECIAL PART OF THIS JOURNEY!

So yesterday was my 6 months post op checkup. As I already knew my labs were not all good, so I have to double, triple up on some of my vitamins and take a prescribed vitamin D pill to fix my severely deficient vitamin D issue! That was my day yesterday, first had an appt with nutritionist and then in the p.m. saw the surgeon. The best part of yesterday was meeting up with 3 of my online support group friends. Debby who I met in December 2007, and who I have shared this journey with along the way. Debby had her surgery in January 2008 and I made it a point of meeting her for lunch each time she drove down from Elk Grove to Fremont for her appts. I was her surgery angel and she was mine, she is someone I consider a friend and who I enjoy sharing with. She also drove down for Melina's baby shower and I truly appreciate her doing that. So we also met up with Valeri, Valeri had her surgery right before I had mine. Back in May 2007 we had a Northern California meeting and that's where I met Valeri. she's a great person, very warm and kind. So the 3rd buddy at our lunch was Jessica, I met her on obesityhelp.com and invited her to the online support group. I was her surgery angel. So I invited her to meet us for lunch so we could meet her face to face. After Debby, Val and I had our check ups the 4 of us went to Red Lobster and had a very nice lunch, chit chatting about our journey, it was great and I was so glad we met for lunch. We will definitely do it again. That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

DECEMBER 30 - A YEAR ALMOST GONE

FIRST CHRISTMAS ---- TRAVIS & ISABELLA ----

MY ANGELS

So Christmas is past, and the New Year is upon us. It's been a crazy year. I have 2 new grandbabies, Travis is now 8 months and Isabella is 7 weeks! Of course Isabella pretty much slept through Christmas Eve, Travis was awake making an attempt to be interested in opening presents but more interested in climbing and tearing up everything he could get his hands on. He is a little comedian, he sure can make us laugh. Isabella is too small to do anything but cry and stare at us when we ignore her crying (which is never). She is finally gaining some ounces and starting to fill out her pj's. These 2 babies couldn't be anymore different but they are both so cute and comical in their own way. As for my 3 big kids and my "adopted" daughter (my DIL) they are another story, each so different its ridiculous. Joel is the arrogant, funny man, Melina is the old soul, serious and judgmental, Joshua is the angry soul but a sweetheart inside (tries to hide that) and Brittany is clueless, she's a happy camper, doesn't let anything get her down, she may shed a tear but then she's over it. I have a full house that is for sure. Never a dull or peaceful moment, but yet they can't understand why I'M tired. Let's see why I may be tired, hmmm... I had major surgery 5 months ago, still haven't gotten my energy back from that, I don't eat enough to give an ant energy, I work full time, I come home to a crapload of people, including 2 babies I take care of every chance they get to cry for grandma, I have to make an effort to keep my home in some kind of organization or I'll go nuts. I have arthritis that won't let me be in peace, something always hurts and being in pain sucks the life out of me! I rarely sleep peacefully because of this same damn pain. and now with the cold my sinus' are aggravating me and I constantly have a headache, another reason I am drained. I have to find a way of exercising, my weight loss is slow. I just made my 5 months post op and I should have lost approximately 50 lbs. but have only lost 43 lbs as of last week (weigh day is tomorrow). I am really disappointed about that, so many of my online buddies have lost way more than me in the same amount of time. I need to lose 23 lbs to get to -100! hard hard struggle. since last week getting strange pain right side, this week its a little more intense. not sure if gas issues or what. But onward I go, no turning back. Christmas was good, the babies got alot of stuff. Isabella not so much cause she's too little to know anything. Travis got lots of toys and clothes. He's such a cutie. I did good too. From work I got a nice watch from Gen, gc to Starbucks, a NY calendar, and a beautiful platter. from kids, Josh had bought me the Wii Fit already, Joel got me sneakers, the Twilight book, the Katy Perry CD, starbucks cd and a starbucks mug in RED! awesome. Mellie got me clothes, 5 beautiful sweater in size L!!! 2 jeans and a couple of cami's to wear under my sweaters :) she also got me this beautiful watch I wanted it is the most beautiful watch I have ever seen, it's a Seiko, with 20 diamonds around the face, mother of pearl background and sapphire crystal inside. it is very expensive but when I saw it I just wanted it, so Mellie got it and I appreciate it very much. can't wear it yet needs at least 4 links removed, my wrists have always been small now it's ridiculous. I had a good Christmas Eve, Brittany's parents came over for dinner, then me, the kids and babies watched movies then opened gifts. I have the New Years weekend off too, 4 days off, YIPPEE! So next week if my 6 months post op check up, I'm concerned about my labs. I know I haven't been eating properly and I don't always remember to take my vitamins, so I am praying I am not deficient in anything. I decided to go back to fitday.com and track my food for 2 weeks so I can take it to the nutritionist instead of sitting there trying to guess what I am eating when she asks me. So that's it for now. I will post some pics from Christmas sometime this week. That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

DECEMBER 21, 2008 - 77 LBS.

WELL 77 lbs down. many more to go. here are a few pics taken on Friday, 12/21/08. I got decked out and unveiled my new me, complete with a new hair cut. It was for our office holiday luncheon. got alot of compliments, and that helped make it a good day for me.

That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

DECEMBER 7, 2008 - 75 lbs. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY

MY 48TH BIRTHDAY - SUNDAY DECEMBER 7, 2008

Went out to dinner with my kids and grandbabies! great time. nice restaurant, Scott's at Jack London Sq. in Oakland. Beautiful place by the bay, view of boats and water. very pretty.

This past year quite full, I have 2 new grandbabies, had my surgery, my daughter moved back home. I have a full house of kids and grandbabies. I am blessed.

That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

NOVEMBER 17 -70 lbs AND A NEW GRANDDAUGHTER

haven't posted in awhile. lot's going on. so as of last week I am down 70 lbs. 34 before surgery and 36 afterwards. it hasn't been easy and even right now i'm sitting here with a bellyache and it sure has been slow but I'm hoping the old saying "slowly but surely" applies here. I am right now so tired I can't even type.

Sooo HERE SHE IS - ISABELLA ANN, born November 8, 2008 at 4:16 pm, weighing a whopping 6 lbs. 7 oz and measuring 19 inches long. She's a little feisty one!

she's a screamer, at the top of her little lungs. we don't even need sound monitor can hear her.

I was off last week just got back today and I am so exhausted. I got a migraine on saturday and it's still lingering, think it's due to the stress, no sleep, hectic chaos with the crazy week we've just had. haven't eaten a whole lot, been so tired and yuck all week.

I can't believe Thanksgiving is around the corner, it's just too quick. I really am not in the mood for holidays right now. too much hassle.

That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

WOW Today Another Drop 197!!

OCTOBER 20, 2008- Okay so this a.m. 197 -65 lbs now. 31 post op. OCTOBER 18, 2008 - I did it, finally. 199 lbs. -63 total. Hard road but so glad I'm on it. slowly but surely I will get there. Today is Melina's baby shower so gonna be busy and so exhausted but that's ok too.. . That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

12 WEEKS POST OP - Slow Progress

OCTOBER 15, 2008 - 12 Weeks Post Op - It's been hard for sure, now standing at 201 for the past couple of weeks. Total pre and post surgery loss is 61 lbs. but my post op loss is going so slow it's really upsetting me. I try to eat more, I try to eat well but that's not always easy cause of finances. Sometimes I'm starved, other times i'm not in the mood. It's all a huge learning process, and it is very frustrating. Joined Curves trying to be good and get there at least 3 times a week, last week I did it. this week haven't been yet, going today even though i am forcing it, not really in the mood. Saturday is Melina's baby shower and that's another issue, lot of work planning a party. I just pray it all works out. I did have a piece of her b/d cake yesterday and my pouch didn't appreciate it so I won't be doing that again. I am pretty tired this week probably cause it's that time of month, praying that when I weigh next week I get at least the 2 lb drop to get me into onderland. I wanted to at least be down 30 lbs by 23rd which is my 3 month anniversary, so maybe I could feel like I'm doing like the average folks who lose 10 lbs a month. so we'll see how that goes. It would mean I need to lose 3 lbs by next week. I will surely pray for it. That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

SEPTEMBER 23, 2008 - 2 MONTH POST OP! WOOHOO FINALLY

That darn scale finally budged properly! Went to Curves today and I dropped 4 lbs since last week, what a relief I've been so stuck. and I ate PIZZA this week too, gave in and had some so I could up my calories and unshock my system, so it seems to have worked. thankfully cause the past 2 weeks I lost 1 lb. each week and it was bouncing up and down, very frustrating, but finally! that makes me feel so much more positive. I truly was starting to feel like the scale wasn't gonna cooperate and that I might be someone the surgery doesn't work for, crazy I know but it's been 2 months today and to just have lost 21 lbs. it was depressing, so now I lost 25 lbs. in 2 months still not great but it's something. So now I am going to do Curves and hopefully that will help keep my spirits up a little, I did the circuit just once by myself today cause it was my first time and I need to see how it was going to affect my surgery spots since it's the first "real" exercise I've done since surgery and because I am still so sick with this cough, cold and headache didn't want to overdo it. But I'll be there tomorrow!

That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

SEPTEMBER 11, 2008 - 7 WEEKS POST OP

WOW, so it's been 7 weeks and it's been going slow for me. I've lost 20 lbs since surgery and that to me is a huge disappointment, I thought I would at least lose 30 lbs or more in the first month but that wasn't to be

and I'm sad about it!

I have been stuck for most of the time, last night I somehow finally lost 1 lb. so maybe the scale will start moving. Anywho, unbeknowst to me I still had the UTI, which turned out to be bladder infection and I finally got the correct stronger antibiotic last week, so maybe that will help my body cooperate. Could be that infection had me bloated and why I felt so yucky. Then to top it off last week I got a flu bug, i'm coughing, congested and then sick to my stomach. A whole lot of folks at work sick too. I had to miss a day of work this week and I was not liking that, I did not want to miss any time until Nov. when I have to be off for Mellie's baby coming but my stomach was sick so obviously I couldn't leave the house.

All in all I'm okay. Enjoying my grandson he's so beautiful 4 1/2 months old and a precious gift. he's so funny, he plays, rolls around, talks alot, smiles and is just so happy. 8 more weeks and granddaughter arrives. I'm gonna have my hands full with 2 grandbabies in diapers. I tell you Travis is a handful, he's so active, it's exhausting. But he's fun and I miss him when he doesn't come to visit me in my room.

It's so weird how sometimes I actually have to remember I had surgery, I actually forget! One day this week I forgot and I ate a piece of toast so fast it was very painful. just got back from lunch and of course had to make myself stop eating to avoid major pain. I'm still training myself not to eat with my eyes, to listen to my pouch. which is the entire point of the surgery to have a smaller stomach that tells you to stop stuffing your face, unfortunately I still have days when I think I'm right and not my pouch and I take one more bite and then I'm in trouble. have to quit doing that, but I've been alot better than I was when I first had surgery. takes time but I'll get it. Now if my foot would stop hurting I could get to some exercises. I still walk as much as I can but it hurts my foot i have to get back to podiatrist to see what else can be done, barring surgery, don't want to do any of that for a long time.

So that's about it for now, i'm still learning how to work with my new pouch, sometimes not even remembering I had the surgery cause it seems like a dream now. Still going on with my life, trudging along.

That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy

AUGUST 25, 2008 - ONE GOAL ACCOMPLISHED!

So it's almost 5 weeks since surgery and I've had some rough days but for the most part I'm doing okay. I had put 1 of the goals on my Obesity Help.com blog that I wanted to lose 50 lbs. well as of this a.m. I have lost 51 lbs. 34 pre op and 17 post op. So I am closer to goal than I could imagine. My vacation was great, my sister Jean is always good to me and showed me some fun in the sun and at a Yankee game. it was awesome. Today I am back to work after 5 weeks off, man it's tough I am pretty tired. my energy ran out about 12 and i'm about to fall asleep. I feel pretty good, everyone at work was very welcoming and complimentary and made it easy for me to come back. it's been a long day but it's almost over. I can't wait for it to be done so I can go home and throw myself in bed. not even hungry today I had: turkey, cheese, fruit, propel water and two chicken wings (no drummette) I'm not hungry but I will be soon. gonna eat a little something else before I leave here so I won't be starved by the time I go home. I must say it hasn't been easy, it's actually harder than I imagined. Of course going from size 22/24 to size 16 is awesome but it's alot of hard work. it's hard not to eat what you want, it's hard to sit and watch others eat what you want. it's hard to control your mouth and not overeat because the pain afterwards is unreal. BUT it's great to feel good, walk up stairs without a problem, which I did yesterday! feel good about how I feel, I still need to lose about 60 lbs. to be down good but every morning the scale is moving now 1 to 2 lbs. a day so I will get there eventually. Now i'm about to search for a gym. i need to do something for me. if not, i'll join curves. i need something.

HERES A PIC OF ME AND MY SISTERS ON FRIDAY 8/15!

well off to the races, i will be leaving soon. so glad i made the entire day I didn't expect to.

That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy