A NEW BEGINNING - Judy's WLS Journey: JUNE 25, 2008

June 25, 2008 * Hello* ! well today hasn't started out that great. I've been having my headaches again for a few days and it's making it hard to function. Between the sinus headache and the arthritis in my neck, I'm an unhappy camper (see Tweety) I stayed home today and that pisses me off too because I don't like missing work and between the headaches and the stomach issues I've missed alot of work. I'm hoping this surgery helps with both those problems, hopefully getting some weight off my chest and belly will alleviate the pulling on my neck and help a little bit. I had pasta last night, I try not to eat carbs but it always seems so hard to do that, so I try to limit the carbs I eat but sometimes that doesn't work. That is part of the reason I need this surgery, the fact that I really can't eat alot of breads, pastas and rice without feeling very uncomfortable will surely help me control my portions. I am drinking my water, alot of water at least 3 (24oz.) bottles, which equals 72 oz a day, so that part of all this is going well. I'm also taking most of my vitamins, I still haven't bought the iron pills, so I have to pick those up on payday. I've started making lists of what I need to have to eat when I get home so I can buy it before I go to hospital. I plan on sticking to the rules 100%, the plan says specific foods for specific lengths of time and I'm gonna stick to it because I truly believe it will make my loss way faster. If I start adding stuff or eating the same stuff but just pureeing or chopping or whatever to get it down my throat that doesn't seem to make sense to me. If the doctor says just eat these things for this period of time I think it should be followed to the letter. A few of the girls on the boards, Lisa & Dee followed the rules to the "T" not waivering and they have done very well. I can't wait for this to be done.

I can honestly say that I am nervous, scared really. If I think to much I get tears in my eyes. I'm not scared about my new life because of this surgery, I'm scared of the surgery process. Going in and getting prepped and they make you wait so long, lying on the table waiting to go to the OR, I get anxiety just thinking about it and it's not cause it's surgery. I get anxiety even to have a procedure that requires IV, and putting me to sleep. I don't know why, maybe because I lose control for that space of time when I'm knocked out and I don't know what is happening, the possibility of not waking up, of something going wrong is extremely scary. It won't stop me, I know this is the right thing especially because everything has gone so well, the program and the steps have gone through so smoothly that I truly believe that God is making this happen for me. So I know I will stay in prayer, I will pray up a storm before the bed gets wheeled into the OR. I will pray for the doctors hands and the anesthesiologist to be a God fearing man and know that he has my life in his hands. When the surgery is over and I open my eyes I will say thank you God and pray that every person the hospital team touches is blessed like me. I know this is going to be hard and I'm ready, I am blessed with a family that is supportive, with a great group of girlfriends who understand what I'm going through and I haven't met most of the women, it's just a bond we have because of our path. I have great co-workers who are also supportive and concerned. So I know I am blessed, I know that this is what is the right thing to do and when I am on the "other" side losing my weight and feeling better and being able to do so much more in life I will again Thank God and say I am blessed and so grateful for my life! I know I ramble, this blog may not be a good thing for me because I think alot and I've always been the kind of person to keep on writing until my hand cramps or the ink runs out, unfortunately with computers my hand is fine and there is no ink and paper to run out LOL. I know lots of folks won't get into reading all this cause it can be too much but I hope if anyone does read this as often as they wish that they take something positive from it, that they feel touched and are given a new hope. That is all I can ask. SO HERE ARE PICS OF THE REASON I AM TAKING THIS JOURNEY! MY CHILDREN, MELINA, JOEL AND JOSHUA and MY PRECIOUS GRANDSON, TRAVIS.